Dealing with FearEmpowerment

The Wonders of Fear

By August 10, 2016 No Comments

After repeatedly failing at getting my newsletter out on a consistent basis, I had to take a good look at what was holding me back. I kept telling myself it was lack of time, but when I got honest with myself, what I realized was that it was fear that was holding me back. I was afraid I wouldn’t appeal to everyone who reads my articles, my newsletter wouldn’t be good enough, people wouldn’t be responsive and that I would look bad.

Wow! That’s a lot of fears around one simple goal. No wonder I’ve been procrastinating!

Fear limits us ALL at times. So, I want to walk side by side with you today and help you examine your fears, see their value and embrace them before moving on.

Ready?

Ok. So, here’s the dictionary definition of fear.

Fear: A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

In a very real sense, fear can protect us from danger. So that is good. Yet, our fears often get in the way of living life and reaching our full potential. Many of our fears are imagined and not real. We make them out to be worse in our heads than they actually are. Yet, having fears can actually be a good thing. We all have them. What are some of yours?

For example, many people have a fear of public speaking. They are afraid of being judged, of not knowing what to say, of looking bad, etc. The things they are making up in their heads about what will happen are just that, made up. In reality, most of our thoughts and beliefs will not become actualized. And what if they did? What’s the worst that could happen? In this case, a person might forget what they are going to say and experience some temporary embarrassment or someone could be thinking a judgmental thought about the speaker, but so what? Does any of that really matter? We put too much emphasis on what other people may think.

What if that same person faced her fear and actually learned to enjoy public speaking and became a well-known motivational speaker making a difference and impacting many lives? Might sound like a long shot, but who knows what that fear is limiting a person from achieving.

What might your fears be limiting you from? No really, pause right now and reflect on this question.

Let’s take a look at fear from a different perspective now. What if fear were a good thing? What if fear were a barometer for personal growth? Can you think of any fears you overcame in your lifetime? What was the result? Did you feel freer, lighter, empowered, happier? Holding on to fear blocks us from our full potential. It is really the ego holding on to what doesn’t serve us.

Here are 4 steps for addressing your fears:

F.E.A.R.

F is for First Step in making change (Identify the Fear). When you can identify your fear and you know it’s a problem, then you can work on changing it if you choose to.

E is for Examination of limiting belief and where it came from. Once you understand where the belief came from and that it actually is limiting you, then there’s room for the motivation to create change.

A is for Acceptance and Ability to expand beyond the limiting belief. Now that you understand the fear is limiting you and you accept where you are, you can begin to work on ways to move past the fear. This is your opportunity for true growth. You have the ability to move past them and here is where your resourcefulness will come in.

R is for Reason to Change and Realization of something greater. Here is where your reason to push past your fear must become more compelling than your reason to remain in it. Again, go back to the earlier question of, what opens up or becomes possible for you when fear is not present? The other piece of this is the realization that you are not your beliefs and you are part of something greater than yourself. When you can separate yourself from your limiting belief and see how it does not define you, and the necessity of it is truly to help you grow as a person rather than limit you, an expansion occurs and that is true empowerment.

What if you had no fears at all, how would your life be different?

What’s one fear you would like to overcome? Why?

What have your fears kept you from doing or being?

How would your life look different if you overcame your fears?

What are you willing to do about it?

Please take this opportunity to look at your fears, embrace them and see them as an opportunity to blossom into that fully aware human being you are intended to be.

Fear is not a bad thing. It’s when fear paralyzes us and limits us from realizing our true potential, that it can be detrimental.

A challenge to you: Here’s an opportunity to make progress right now, especially if you are reluctant and feel a little fear. Leave a comment below and share one fear and what you are willing to do to try and move past it. That is a major step toward alleviating your fear. By sharing it, you are more likely to achieve it.

Go ahead. You got this!

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JUSTINE ARIAN, CPCC Certified Professional Co-Active Coach